Illustration of self-love
Self-love is not selfish! Photo courtesy of iStock/NOWJAKARTA

Self-love sounds simple, but for some inexplicable reasons, it can be the most complicated thing in the world.

Love is not a passive abstraction but an active responsibility implying a syndrome of attitudes—that of respect, care and knowledge. So, what does self-love really mean? Highlighting an important quotation from Søren Kierkegaard and the Problem of Self-Love, “One should never lose belief or hope in one’s ability (through God’s grace) to will and act in the light of, and for, the good.” This gives a firm stir against any kind of self-despair, and thus encouraging you to trust in your ability to do good, for example, love yourself (more).

I am not saying it is easy. Quite the contrary, it is very difficult to look at oneself. But I promise you, it starts with us, it starts with me and with you. When and if you are able to do this, you will feel a shift. You’ll feel well!

Yes, you should be well first! You set the stage for every relationship you have with others, but first and foremost love yourself before anyone else! Your relationship with yourself is of paramount importance! We hear it all the time, but seriously, I don’t think that we realise how crucial and powerful this translates to real life.

Self-love is not selfish, yet it is manifested in the exclusiveness of relation and depiction mirrored to everything you like, respect and care about. It is also a state of appreciation for oneself that grows from actions supporting physical, mental and spiritual wellbeing.

Read other All Kinds of Love stories 

Will you have moments of self-doubt? Yes, of course. We all do! But self-love is that inner gentle wave of infinite compassion that reminds you to not be so hard on yourself. You probably spend a lot of time thinking how you could be good and wish you had realized you are. And despite all your mistakes, flaws and weaknesses, YES, you are good enough and worth it!

Neither one is your enemy nor your saviour. How beautiful would it be if you could love yourself first, love those around us and never run out of love? How beautiful would it be to act with love and respect—no matter how anyone else treat you in return—because you are loving and respectful?

The more self-love you have for yourself, the better prepared you are for a healthy relationship. Even more, you will start to attract people and circumstances that supports your wellbeing.

This article is originally from paper. Read NOW!Jakarta Magazine Febuary 2020 issue “Love and Romance". Available at selected bookstores or SUBSCRIBE here.

Asyariefah R.A.

Asyariefah R.A.

Born into a nature-loving family, Asyariefah enjoys the outdoors. Now! Jakarta provides her favourite collection of narratives with a sense of helping establish her identity. Some of her key areas of expertise include human interest, arts & culture, travel and features.